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Friday, 17 February 2017



 Love is a beautiful thing, and love makes a fool out of us all, Love is blind, love makes everything perfect blah! blah! Blah! I am not saying it is not true, Love is all of those things and so much more. But my lady, don't be one of the casualties of love don’t get hurt when you can prevent it . We all know how risky relationships can get, it is either you win and get the ring or you lose and get your heart broken. If you avoid these foolish mistakes you might just turn it into a win: win situation, either way you can at least walk away with your dignity intact if not your heart.


Do you honestly think great sex will get him to pop the M word or stay faithful to you? If you turn yourself into a sex machine for a man you are not married to, there are chances that that is all he is using you for. When you get together or come together all you do is to have sex, I feel like reciting that popular bible verse ‘oh foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you that you should not know the truth’, some are even so foolish that they allow their lover to take their pictures or videos during sex with them. No problem, he will have something to spread or blackmail you with when you finally decide to call it quit, and who says you cannot be the one to walk away? You might just meet a nicer man one day and your ex will never let you forget your foolish past. There are sex videos and pictures all over the net now of foolish ladies blinded by lust and so called love. Can you just apply the brake now? Relationship is not all about sex, shouldn’t be restricted to the bedroom and no man has the right to demand for sex or coerce you into giving him one. One day, when it’s all over, you will remember those moments in the bedroom and curse yourself for your folly.


Isn’t it just amazing? You get to play the wife without the ring, it’s just PERFECT! It’s just that nobody will want to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free. He can marry you some day or never marry you and ask you to pack out one day. Nobody is perfect, all those flaws he will put up with in marriage because he had no choice will scare him away. He gets someone to do his laundry, cook for him, care for the house and have sex with him at will without any responsibility whatsoever. Any money he ought to save for your wedding will get diverted to other important things because that can wait. I know you’ve never thought of this, but, what if he just get tired of you and move on to someone else? That makes you used goods. Moreover you will permanently spoil your chances with other guys, you will even start looking married after few years. The so called trial marriage is a recipe for disaster. How many guys will you try for crying out loud! Besides, you are not getting younger so quit being a fool and insist on the real thing. How will he discover he needs a wife if he is getting all the benefits? Let him get lonely at night, do his own laundry, manage his office, cook, and get his house in order at the same time. If he needs help, let him get a house help or just get married.


Do you believe the crap that love is sweeter when it is kept a secret? He keeps you out of public eye and only he and your best friends know that you are together and you think things will work out eventually? When will you stop fooling yourself? He doesn’t want his family and friends to know and only meet you in secret and you are in ecstasy? Can you just step down a little bit from cloud nine and use your brain? How long do you want to continue with this clandestine? Have you ever thought that he might be hiding you because he is married or there is another woman in the limelight? Or what if he doesn’t want anybody to know because he is only fooling around with you? Whatever his reasons are, tell him to get them resolved as soon as possible. Some ladies are so much in love that they can’t think past the present, your man is introducing you as his sister, cousin or relative to other people and you are going along with it, you might just be setting yourself up for disaster. So wake up and smell the noodles, if he is hiding you he might be hiding something from you. And when you get to know one day, it just might break your heart.


So he is promised to marry you someday? So what? He have to change your life and dream so much that you don’t even recognize yourself when you look at the mirror? I have heard that word from men so many times than I can remember ‘I will just find a woman I like and blend him to my taste’. This statement makes me think of onions, pepper and tomatoes. I am not saying you should not be ready to grow when you are with a man or do some character adjustment when necessary but know when to draw the line. Don’t allow your man to change your wardrobe, your job, your dreams, your religion, your friends and even your hobbies. You are unique, and what you are was what attracted him in the first place, if there should be any changes it should be from you without him ordering it. Don’t ever change your religion because of a man, that’s the worst thing you can ever do, change your religion only on personal conviction. If you just agree to all that because you love him, what will happen if he dumps you and another guy come along? You will change for him too and keep changing till eternity. Don’t live like a chameleon and no guy has a right to throw your life into confusion. Besides, you should not be desperate enough to do it, other guys are coming that will love you just the way you are. If you have problem with your temperament or have some vices you can use some help from him but don’t become an onion because of love.


Some get to use this advice after heartbreaks but you can avoid being a fool later by using it now. Don’t act married unless you are and don’t give a guy 100% of your attention unless you are in very serious relationship or engaged. Don’t also expect that of him, it goes both ways you know. Don’t let him act possessive and don’t act so too it is a one way trip to heartbreak. Don’t wear a frown when other guys talk to you just because a guy just ‘toast’ you or wear a customized shirt with his name on it. Don’t post pictures of both of you on Facebook with captions like ‘it’s both of us forever’ or ‘my husband and I’, ‘chilling with my in-laws’ blah!  Blah! Blah! You might have to eat those words someday. Moreover, it pisses people off if they keep seeing you with different guys with same caption. How many guys will you get literally married to before the real thing? Also make it easy to get a replacement if your guy is not serious, don’t get attached to him when he acts like you are just a fling. Let him know that he is not the only one that finds you attractive and it will be on his best interest to hook you before smarter guys take the initiative. I am not saying you should cheat on your man or jump from one man to the other, what I am saying is; don’t get committed to a guy unless he is committed too. Don’t be the only one in love, don’t be the running after him, don’t act like you own him and vice versa.

You see, it is easy to be wise if you want to be, don’t be foolish and lose all sense of reasoning because you are in love. Not all relationship will end in marriage, that is sad but true, so when the time comes for it to end this tips will help you in protecting your heart and escaping with your dignity intact.
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Subomi Olaoye

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