The first type of relationship I am going to be talking about is:
1. Open Relationship
This type of relationship is what I refer to as anything goes. Both of you or one of you is seeing someone else or allowed to see someone else and the other person is aware.
It is a relationship where you are free to do as you please, There is Zero commitment and you seldom discuss Marriage.
Usually one of the parties is hoping the other person will later become committed and change the status of the relationship. This type of relationship is aimless and dangerous and it often lead to heart break.
Usually before one of the people involved decide to let go a lot would have happened.
Many single mothers are victims of this type of relationship.
Unwanted pregnancy, heartbreak, abortion, and depression is common in this type of relationship.
The second type of relationship I'll be discussing is:
2. Complicated Relationship
A complicated relationship is a relationship where you are neither in or out. You have broken up over 10 times already but you kept coming together because of emotional connection .
Both of you know the relationship cannot work because you have so much unresolved issues even though you are madly in love with each other.
You have issues like parental consent, spiritual disconnection, have committed fornication several times but it's just hard to let go. You have even heard God telling you both of you are not meant to be together but the soul ties is so strong. Memories that keep haunting you and bringing you together.
Letting go is hard so you settle down for a life of uncertainty.
Unusually one of you is waiting for a miracle. This type of relationship usually ends in trauma.
If you can't let go and let God have His way you are going to reach breaking point soon. Something is bound to give and either way it can't be in your favor.
I have heard of ladies receiving invitation cards of their partner while still struggling to let go. Usually the lady is the last to let go, the guy being logical is always the first to let go and finds an alternative secretly.
Consequences/end result is betrayal, double dating/cheating, heartbreak, depression and trauma.
The third type of relationship I want to talk about is:
3. Undefined Relationship
This type of relationship is commonly referred to as "God is your shepherd", "God no go shame us", "We are pencils in the hands of the creator" etc
Both of you have strong connection, call each other Sweet names, live couple life etc but the guy has never opened his mouth to propose or the girl did not accept your Proposal.
Usually when they ask about your relationship status you reply with "God is my shepherd or God no go shame us".
You are afraid to confront your partner or ask the golden question "WHAT ARE WE TO EACH OTHER?" because you fear receiving answers like: "We are friends or we are pencils in the hands of the creator".
Pencil? After 3 years of giving everything and waiting for him to propose? We die here.
Some sisters will not accept proposal but will be chopping Shawarma, Suya, KFC etc and will be calling you honey and bestie.
This relationship is always common among Singles in the church.
You see two people that are very very close, You can't see sister Tinah without seeing Bro John. They are like Siamese twins, forever joined but will never admit they are in a relationship because the truth is that THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP TO BEGIN WITH.
This relationship is very risky only about 10-20% out of 100% end up moving the relationship up. Usually one of them has someone he/she is admiring or waiting for.
The reason that brother/sister did not want to commit to you is not because he/she is shy or not ready, Usually you are the second or third choice.
He/she can easily break the relationship anytime when his/her choice is ready and claim both of you are just friends . He/she can even make it worse by labelling you as sister/brother in the Lord .
3 years of wastage because someone people refuse to get wisdom.
Is it true that the brother/sister truly loves you but is shy?
Well, it can be the case but you'll never know until you ask.
The fourth type of relationship I'll be discussing tonight is:
4. Secret Relationship
This type of relationship is known as NICODEMUS LOVE.
The only people that know you are in a relationship is both of you.
He has proposed but he told you nobody should know about it yet because people can be dangerous, They should not come and pour sand sand inside your garri.
Those type of people ehn, you'll never know they are in a relationship, they will be antagonizing and abusing themselves in church.
Calling each other big head, small toes etc but they are meeting secretly after service.
You'll never guess Bro Tope and Sis Dupe are in a relationship, they don't even greet each other in church.
This type of relationship is funny but it doesn't end well, it never has. He is telling you not to tell pastor until both of you are ready to get married, aunty is this love or foolishness.
Usually such brother has interest in another sister, he will take that one to pastor.
When you now start crying yeye cry nobody will believe Bro Tope asked you out.
He has eaten indomie and egg, rice potato, Pumpkin salad, efo riro and Orisirisi in your house for 2 years for free. Auntie there is a period of friendship before courtship, don't allow that period to exceed 3 months.
That friendship period means he is yet to propose, Once he proposes and you accept his proposal all the important people in your life and his life should know about it.
Secret relationship is no relationship, There is no witness, no proof, no evidence nothing nothing .
The fifth type of relationship I'll like to discuss is:
5. Dating
Dating is a type relationship I call "Boyfriend and girlfriend" or "let's wait and see". This type of relationship is characterized by lots of fun and little meaning .
People may be aware of the relationship and even parents at times but it is based on probability. There is neither promise or plan of marriage in the immediate future but both parties live in the moment.
Sex, abortion, cohabitation, and lots of immoralities are the order of the day. A guy can date two ladies are the same time but cannot court two ladies at the same time.
Can you spot the difference?
Dating is like fishing for a man until he catches the right fish he is still in the market. A sister can date you and still give another brother green light.
Many sister/brother settle for dating because they believe half cake is better than none but you should know that you are not safe.
Dating is like placing you on probation. The language we understand in Christendom is Courtship. We enter a relationship with the intension to get married.
The six kind of relationship I want to discuss is:
6. Courtship
This is kingdom relationship with marital intention. You go into it after prayers and due consultation.
You sort God's approval and godly counsel. It's not based on assumptions and probability but on godly foundation.
This type of relationship often lead to Marriage.
Only about 10-20% of people end up breaking up during courtship. If you are doing a business and the probability of success is 80% you know you are safe.
Out of all the types of relationships mentioned above Courtship is the best and safest for any single Lady/brother that wants to have relationship without tears.
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