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Thursday, 13 April 2017



Forget about Hollywood and Bollywood, forget about Korean films and Fairy tales, harmonious relationship is not free; it comes with a price tag. Everyone wants to have a harmonious relationship filled with oneness and devoid of discord and conflict but not everyone is ready to pay for it; are you ready to pay? It does not happen by luck, chance, or magic, there is a price and you can’t have it without paying so here is what it takes to get it: 

You cant just plant a seed and leave it, expecting it to grow on its own. You have to tend to it, uproot the weeds, water it and build an hedge around it so that intruders cannot just trespass and uproot, all these take time. Building harmonious relationship can be likened to these; you have to spend quality time together to grow your relationship. Study your partner; know his/her likes and dislikes and what make your partner happy or sad. Know your partner to the extent that you will know the reason behind every argument. Is your partner possessive because he/she fears losing you? Then your partner needs lot of love and affirmation.

Giving is one of the signs of true love. Even God showed His love by giving his only son. To achieve harmonious relationship you have to give up your pride and ego. Most times, it requires you to give yourself away to find it again. You also have to spend and be spent. Give from your pocket and your heart. There is no romance without finance; buy your partner gifts that he/she will love, it doesn't have to be expensive.  Being Stingy can destroy your relationship, so learn the act of giving: give your love, give your time and attention and give gifts to cultivate affection.

Only two slaves can achieve harmonious relationship. Yes, a relationship is a SHIP, two captains will capsize it, a captain and a slave will bring resentment and contempt but two selfless slaves will deck it smoothly. You have to serve one another in humility, nobody is superior to the other, you should be equal and precious in each other’s eyes. So, respect each other, tolerate each other and serve each other. Be humble enough to apologize when you need to and accept each other’s apology.

Your experience, family background and environment contributed to who you are so no two people can be the same. Tolerate what you can’t change about your partner, all these little habits that irritate you can be painted with the eyes of love and made to look better. You can’t change your partner so quit nagging but you can help him/her with love. Understand your partner and be ready to accept him/her with those flaws. Come to think of it, you aren't perfect either, your partner just think you are perfect because he/she is looking at you with the eyes of love , it is time to reciprocate that.

You can’t plant a seed today and eat its fruit today, Rome isn't built in a day so be ready to be patient. Don’t be too in a hurry to achieve harmony and don’t compare your partner or relationship with that of your friends, you don’t know  what is really happening in their relationship. Love is patient and it suffers long. Be ready to invest in your relationship and don’t leave for another person to reap the fruit of your labor; be patient enough to reap what you sowed!

Every normal relationship has a little disagreement here and there but in an harmonious relationship, amidst all the disagreements is a knowing deep down that you have built something strong that can survive any trial. I think this is worth any price and I hope you will agree with me.     

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Subomi Olaoye

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