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Thursday, 9 March 2017



There are good guys out there that know how to treat a lady right; they have a mature approach towards relationships. It’s not just a game to them or an avenue to satisfy their selfish desire; their girl can go to sleep with the assurance that they will still be there when she wakes up in the morning. But these kinds of guys are getting fewer everyday as the world is getting more civilized; guys don’t want to settle down into matrimony and build a home. Some guys sees relationships as a game, they lie, cheat, deceive and commit many atrocities in the name of love and the number of ladies suffering from heartaches attest to this fact. So here are the common lies men tell in relationships and the not so common ones.

Yeah! He will keep telling this one as long as you believe it. So you discovered he has another side attraction? The girl is hot and he has been cheating with her and he thinks you are such a drama queen when you tell him he is hurting you? He will keep cajoling you to just leave the other girl and focus on the relationship because she doesn’t matter, she is just a fling and you are the real thing. What he isn’t telling you is that she does matter a lot and for her to come into his life it means you are either out of it or on your way out. Cheating doesn’t just mean he couldn’t handle the temptation; it is also a sign that something is wrong with the relationship. You should not simply overlook it if you are in an exclusive and committed relationship with him, this is not a time for him to get distracted and channel his energy into another relationship when he should be thinking of making an honest woman out of you. You have every right to demand for faithfulness if you have been faithful to your relationship.

A man might take some time and space to make major decisions but if it is taking him more than a month to get back to you, it might be his way of breaking up with you. I am not a kill joy, believe me, if he suddenly wants to go solo and he is staying incommunicado for weeks there must be something fishy going on. The worst mistake you can make is to stay passive hoping he will sort himself out one day and come back to you; this is your life for crying out loud! I am not saying you should have a panic attack and start throwing tantrums, take charge of your life and investigate carefully: pay him a surprise visit, ask for advice from his friends and take decisions based on the information you have. Give him a few weeks and call him again and hold a sensible discussion on your relationship, ask him if he has been able to make a decision and ask if there is another woman involved. If he tells you he still need more time after a month tell him to make the breakup official, if he jumps at the advice, maybe that’s what he has been trying to communicate to you all along.

If your guy has a very close friend of the opposite sex that he refuse to share with you and both of you are in a committed relationship, maybe you should be worried. He told you she is just a friend and she is always in his house at night, she picks your call when you call him, he uses her picture as DP on social media and even his family knows her more than you, you have to really wake up now. Love shouldn’t make you a fool, the moment both of you decided to be in an exclusive and committed relationship you should be ready to share friends. If he went as far as comparing you with his so called girlfriend and he is always talking about her when he is with you, you have a big problem in your relationship. Don’t be scared to open up and take your place in his life, if you are so afraid of losing him that you keep quiet, there is a possibility that you have already lost him. Tell him about your insecurities and if he dismissed them as unimportant or he even tells you he met her before you and he can’t afford to lose her just tell him to marry her instead.

Hey! Wake up! When the door is open you can go out anytime you want. Guys understand what open relationships mean more than girls so they feed you with lies and use the word as an escape clause. When he wants to leave and you remind him of his promise to marry you later, you will hear words like ‘what do you expect? It’s an open relationship’. Open relationship is an avenue to get sex and other benefits of an exclusive relationship without the accompanying responsibilities. Don’t ever go into an open relationship with a guy unless you are suicidal or you are also out to get sex alone. There is no guarantee of marriage or the security of long term relationship that you crave. Don’t listen to the lies that this is the 21st century and anything goes, it has more benefit for the man than the woman. If you are in an open relationship know that there is the probability that you will fall hard for him and need him to stay, and that may be the time he wants to move on, you can’t hold him down because you don’t have the right to.
So what if he is not financially stable now? He said he is saving to get married to you and he is yet to meet any of your family and vice versa? He might be conning you. Don’t be even foolish enough to accept an engagement ring from him and assume the title of a fiancee without meeting his parent. The first step that will show that he is serious about marrying you is not the ring, it is taking you home. Don’t ever believe it if he tells you he is an orphan, he did not fall from the sky, he will at least have relatives and a guardian. The truth is that, some girls can be so blind that they can’t see the truth even if it pokes them in the face. Don’t wear his ring and scare other guys off when your parent hasn’t seen him before. Meet his parent and let him meet yours and be assured that both of them approve before waiting for him to make enough money to support you in marriage or else he might just make the money and use it to take another woman to the altar.

Well! Well! Well! Don’t be among those girls that live in denial and later get to tell tales that touches the heart in the tabloid. He claimed he had broken up with her a long time ago and she is still sending him a romantic text? Why do you keep listening to his lies when he said he is just looking for a gentle way to let her down? Can’t just face the truth for your heart’s sake? I have heard the tale several times that I even get tired of hearing it. Some guys that impregnated their ex claimed it is just a one last fling before they part way, well, tell that to the fishes. If his ex is still very much active in his life you might just be the one that will get hurt eventually. Tell him to choose who he wants to be with and don’t hesitate to get out while your heart can still take the fall. If she ever call you to leave her guy alone and your guy is not doing anything to stop the threats from coming, maybe she is right, he still belongs to her.

There are other lies like let’s pretend to break up, and other funny ones like I was just flirting with her, I don’t mean any harm. If you see your guy collecting another girls number at an event and you are sure they have not met before, the common lie is ‘hey it’s not for me, it’s for my friend’. So I just pray for your sake that you become a little bit wiser. Don’t get hurt when you can prevent it.

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Subomi Olaoye

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