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Monday, 27 February 2017



Building a stable and lasting relationship is every woman’s dream and every man’s aim. It might sound like a myth but there is something called Lasting relationship, a kind of relationship that gives security and comfort. I know you want to build that kind of relationship with your partner, deep down; you want to know that no matter what happens you can always rely on each other and exit is not an option. You can make it happen, it all depends on how you build your relationship, use these materials and watch your relationship stand the test of time:


The importance of trust in a relationship cannot be over-emphasized. Can your partner trust you? When the chips are down can you be relied on not to break his/her heart? When your partner knows that he/she can always trust you, then he\she can be committed to building a lasting relationship with you. You might not be able to change your partner now but let the change start with you. The rule of not putting all your eggs in a basket does not apply to a stable relationship. You are not going to marry more than one person at a time so Love them one at a time.


You need commitment to build a lasting relationship, what are you doing with someone you don’t plan to marry? Don’t play with people’s emotion it might bounce back on you. People that are fond of dating for fun suffer the consequence later in life, because, when they are ready to settle down they end up in the hands of a player like them who will play with them and later dump them. Imagine how you will feel when you discover that someone you are serious about is only out to use you, don’t do to others what you don’t want  to be done to you. Let your partner know upfront how you feel about him/her and the relationship and both of you can play for keep.


Many partners are bed mates but are not soul mates; they end up becoming married strangers. Can your partner confide in you? Are you the first person he/she calls when in problem? What do you know about your partner’s past? Both of you must be open with each other. You partner must be ready to confide in you and vice versa for your relationship to stand the test of time. Intimacy is not all about sex, there is a way both of you can get naked without getting naked. Knowing each other’s heartfelt desire, pain, passion, dream, vision etc will set you on the part to true intimacy.


There is not just sympathy in a healthy and lasting relationship, there is also empathy. You must understand each other’s pain and feel it like your own. Empathy builds intimacy; don’t criticize your partner for his\her actions without understanding the reasons behind it. For instance, don’t criticize and fight your partner for calling his\her ex when you are not always available. Was it because you are always busy and he/she was engulfed by loneliness and needed friendship? Are you always present but unavailable emotionally? Is your partner even scared of pouring his\her heart to you because of the fear of criticism? Treating your partner the way you want to be treated will help you build a lasting relationship together.


You will always wrong each other as humans; don’t expect your partner to be perfect when you are not.  Stop the habit of dating five people in five years, rather, you should settle down with one person and forgive him\her five times. Apart from cheating, having an addiction and being abusive you should learn to tolerate and manage the imperfection of your partner. Come to think of it, there are some annoying things you do that your partner is overlooking because of love too. Also, don’t forgive your partner and still harbor resentment, it will eat you up and destroy your relationship.

If you build your relationship with these solid materials, you can be sure that it will stand the test of time. Have you met the man\woman of your dream? Then take steps to ensure that your relationship lasts for as long as both of you live. Hey! I didn’t mention love because I assume you have lots of that already. I wish you best of luck in building the type of lasting relationship you desire.

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Subomi Olaoye

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