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Saturday, 19 November 2016


Women tend to lose their heads when they are in love. They are so ecstatic that they ignore danger signals even when they bump into it. Many red flags flying in front of you seem trivial compared to the intense love you feel but you are going to wish you have taken time to read this someday. So, save your time and energy by reading this you are going to be glad you did.


This type of men hardly gets caught and when they are, they simply tell another lie to get out of it. But women have an advantage over men, God gave us a six sense called intuition, men can’t beat that. As a woman, we often ignore our intuition when we are deeply in love. Most women often utter words like ‘I knew it! Something kept telling me something is fishy’ when they discover that love has actually blinded them to some dangerous truth about the man they are dating. Some men have the advantage of experience and you can’t catch them red handed but if you  have been getting a black hand for some time, don’t wait till it turns red! Some men are not that lucky, they mess up and end up being caught several times, if you are dating that type of man, it is time for you to count yourself lucky and run! If he tells you he is in a meeting and you mistakenly bump into him in a bar having lunch with a lady, borrow wisdom, stay out of his sight and give him a call again, if he claims he is still in that meeting in his office, well, that one comes with a label tagged “EXPLOSIVE”. Don’t be too much in love that you think telling lies means he cares about your feelings and doesn’t want to hurt you. It is better to hurt someone with the truth than to make them happy with a lie.


Women just love him and crumble at his feet and you think it is not his fault that he is extremely charming? Women just love being around him and every woman is his sweetheart or angel and you think it is just his personality, please tell your brain to come back from vacation. I know you think it is harmless and he will stop once he marry you, let’s keep praying for a miracle. If he is not making a living out of it, then he shouldn’t enjoy doing it that frequently because many women can take it more serious than he intend and it can spell trouble for you. Some men usually do it  out of habit but that doesn’t mean it is a good habit. Before you stay committed to the relationship, ask yourself if you can cope with the number of women around him now and if you can keep tolerating it once you are married, please can you just ponder on the fact that he sees your continue love, devotion and tolerance of the act as acceptance and permission to continue. A real  woman is not jealous and possessive but if you have to keep telling yourself ‘ it is harmless, he will change, he will get tired of this and discover I am the woman he needs… then maybe you should run


When he gets angry it looks pretty much like an action movie with plenty of suspense, intrigue and mass destruction of what he sees as the enemy at the time, well, you deserve an award of the suicide queen for staying in that kind of relationship. It doesn’t matter if he hasn’t hit you yet and he apologizes for all the terrible things he says later, I still think you are trying to commit suicide. An abusive man cannot change overnight, if he adds a little kicking or just slapping to that, you are done for, it doesn’t matter what he usually does to make up later. Like seriously, how can an educated woman like you (I assume you are if you can read this write up) call abuse Love or be dating a civilized lunatic ( he needs to be committed, believe me). You should be getting help for him and staying as far away from him as possible. Any man that can hit a woman under any kind of provocation needs help not love and you shouldn’t even be the one helping him, Get him a psychiatrist! Or better still a counselor. No matter how skilled he is in bed or the amount of money and beautiful things he gives to you, he is still going to kill you later. So get out while you are still alive to do so and run while you still have legs.


This type of man can’t decide if he wants to be in a relationship or not and usually call for a breakup over trivial matters. If your man has broken up with you more than thrice already, maybe you should be the one doing the next one and make it final. If he avoids talking about the relationship maybe there is not one to begin with. Don’t be the only one fighting for the relationship; the journey is too long to walk alone. Besides, you shouldn’t be the one begging for his love or trying to get him to stay committed. If he doesn’t want the relationship and thinks it is just something to pass out time, nothing you do or say will change his mind, not even getting pregnant for him. Don’t turn yourself into a sex toy because you just want him to stay, don’t be the only one announcing in the social media that you are in a relationship. It takes two to make a relationship work, give him a little time and if he is still dragging his feet then be the first to walk away, If he wants you, he will come after you.


Some men don’t like PDA (public display of affection) but if he takes it to the extreme, just ditch him. What are you doing with a man that has never said ‘I Love You’ to you before? You think he is taking his time and trying to find out if you are real? If he hasn’t found for over six month, maybe he will never find out. Be with someone that will be proud of being with you, someone that will love to be seen with you, not a man that thinks it is embarrassing to talk to you in public. You might think you can tolerate it now and you will make up for his mistakes but what will happen if you eventually marry him? You want to be married to a man that cannot even wear the same aso ebi with you? Or God Forbid, a man that only acknowledge with a nod across the room. If he needs orientation, let him get it now before you marry him and not after when he doesn’t have anything to lose if he doesn’t. And If he is not saying I Love you after the couple of years you have spent together maybe he just doesn’t feel it. And who says its okay if he is not caring if he has a lot of money? You are marrying the man and not his money and if he doesn’t have time for you now, I don’t need a crystal to foretell that you have a lonely marital life ahead of you.


If every of his words starts with mummy said then you are in trouble. If his mother is controlling your relationship now what will she do with your marriage? I know you are not going to marry the mother but don’t expect her to just disappear after your marriage to her son.  Acknowledge that she is important in your man’s life and always will be, be respective and courteous to her but if she has her hand in everything in your man’s life and is the one making the decision then he doesn’t need you. If he tells you no woman  can ever measure up to his mother and that you can’t be that precious no matter how hard you try, maybe you should just let him marry her. A real man knows how to handle his mother and takes advises from her in making decision not leaving the decision making process to her. If she tells you that you are not good enough for her son, maybe she is right because she is the one in charge of defining what “Good” means. Don’t do things you hate just to be accepted by her, you might end up doing it for the rest of your life. If she threatens you and your man think you should do whatever mummy says, please get out while you still can.


He kept repenting and pleading for another chance and you think the weakness will just disappear after marriage? You need a magic wand to make it disappear. Spend the time you suppose to spend looking for a good divorce lawyer to borrow wisdom now. If he cheated once label him “likely to bring grief in marriage” if he has done it twice please don’t even think twice about ditching him because he just removed the likely, he is a disaster waiting to happen period! A wise girl once caught her man sleeping with her best friend; she ditched the man and kept that friend. You might think she is crazy but her friend saved her a lot of heartache in the future. If her so called fiancĂ© can sleep with her best friend behind her back then he won’t be able to resist the secretary, maid, waiter and other casual women he will meet later in the future after marriage. If your man has been cheating on you and you are still in that relationship expecting him to get tired of chasing skirts and settle down with you one day you might just be setting yourself up for disaster.
Having read all this, I believe you have borrowed some wisdom, go for the real thing and not just what look like it. Sincerely, every lady deserves to have a man that will make her happy today and stand by her tomorrow. You don’t deserve an heartbreak or a relationship filled with depression and uncertainty, so, let’s be an advocate for love without tears. Don’t court a loser or he will make you one in the future.

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