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Tuesday, 4 April 2017

STEPS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS

STEPS TO EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN RELATIONSHIPS

Hello! Are you just talking in your relationship or you are communicating? Everybody knows how to talk unless they are dumb but not everybody can communicate well in a relationship. Communication is a two-way thing and it takes two people to achieve effective communication. Communication should make you closer and breed intimacy in your relationship, not the other way round and these are ways you can achieve that:


DON’T MULTI-TASK DURING COMMUNICATION

Communication is a task itself because it has a goal! Don’t press your phone, read a newspaper or hold the TV remote control while your partner is having a serious discussion with you. You need all your attention to communicate effectively. Also put aside anything clouding your mind and come to the table with a clear head.


LISTEN AND BE LISTENED TO

Communication is a dialogue! Nowadays it is usual for people to be interested in saying what is on their mind without caring to listen to what their partners have to say. They have rehearsed their speech, what their partner might say and the answer they will give and they make everything look like a presentation. This is Capital WRONG and unfair. Give your partner a chance to express his\her feelings too.  Also, after you have listened, you have a right to be listened to; your partner must return the gesture!



DON’T MAKE UP YOUR MIND BEFORE HEARING WHAT YOUR PARTNER HAS TO SAY

If you have already made up your mind about what you are going to do then there is no use coming to the communication table. Doing this will color your judgment and influence how you hear things because you will read meaning into whatever your partner is trying to say. please don’t put words into your partner’s mouth and can you just delay the decision until both of you have communicated your feelings to each other?


EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS WITHOUT CRITICISM OR CONDEMNATION

Criticizing people or condemning them can turn the communication table into chaos. Also, avoid abuse and name calling, it is immature.  Let your partner know how you feel not what you think of their actions. Don’t say ‘I think you are trying to use me and dump me’ instead say ‘when you did that I feel used’.  Also, don’t use words like foolish, stupid, callous, cruel, devilish, inhuman etc and other adjectives that label your partner as a bad person.



DO IT OFTEN

For communication to be effective you have to do it often. Don’t wait till your partner’s cup is full or bottle up pent-up anger, it is not good for your health. Communication, when done as often as necessary can create a bond between people and increase affection. So, don’t procrastinate or postpone it when you need to have it now! Communication is like a fuel that kindles Love, don’t wait till when the fire of love has died down before adding fuel, it might just be too late.

So are you just talking or communicating in your relationship? Start communicating today and watch the positive impact it will have on your relationship.

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Subomi Olaoye

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AJAO FOR SENATE

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