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Thursday, 9 March 2017

HOW TO KEEP FRIENDS FROM DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

HOW TO KEEP FRIENDS FROM DESTROYING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

I am tired of hearing stories about people whose friends’ destroyed their relationship and went away with their partners.  Everyone needs a friend, someone to talk to and share life’s joy and sorrow with; but you also need a stable relationship to get married in order to build that life. Don’t make stupid mistakes, you might be able to get another friend but if you lose a serious partner because of your carelessness and lack of caution, you might end up blaming yourself for the rest of your life. So, take these steps to secure your relationship to avoid regrets and heartbreak in the future:

HAVE RELATIONSHIP SECRETS
Your friends don’t need to know everything going on in your relationship. Even if they share theirs with you, you are not obligated to reciprocate. Some things are just private in a relationship. This will go a long way to guard against intruders. You have to screen whatever you will tell your friends, whatever you intend to tell them must pass through these tests:  Is it necessary? Will it build or break your relationship? Will your partner be happy with you divulging that information? Is it something your partner told you specifically not to tell anyone? Answer those questions as honestly as possible before you go ahead to share those information with your friend.


DON’T BRING YOUR FRIENDS TOO CLOSE TO YOUR PARTNER
Some ladies/guys are fond of taking a particular friend along whenever they are going to visit their partners. And even during conversation with their partners all they like talking about is that their special friend, parading his/her good qualities before their partners. Sometimes they say: I can’t do that but my friend can do it, or he/she can do it better, how dumb are you really? Don’t allow your friend to have direct access to your partner! What is your friend doing visiting your partner without your knowledge? And never, ever, allow your friend to refer to your partner as “my friend”

DON’T ASK YOUR FRIEND TO HELP YOU SETTLE DISPUTE WITH YOUR PARTNER
Why would you do that? Even if that friend is the one you trust most, you shouldn’t ever do that. Learn how to settle disputes amicably with your partner and if you need someone to intervene in time of crisis, you should approach his/her friends and not your own friends. Don’t give your friends a chance to find their way into the heart of your man\woman. Once they start settling dispute they will want to know everything going on in your relationship. Also, never make the mistake of reporting your partner to your friends, if you have any issue eating you up and you need to talk to find relieve then talk to his\her friends or write it down in your diary and tear it later. If your partner report you to your friend, then know how much is too much to say, talk about the issue of the moment and don’t refer to the past.

HAVE AN EAGLE EYE THAT SPOTS TROUBLE FROM AFAR
Men/ladies that have their partners taken away by their friends usually get hints they ignore. It won’t just happen overnight, you should be able to identify clues and manage them before they turn into a disaster. Have you noticed your partner giving preferential treatment to one of your friends? Have you noticed one of your friends always taking your partner’s side when you have any disagreement?  Have you noticed one of your friends trying to find out things about your partner from you stylishly? Have you noticed one of your friends giving your partner gifts and compliments? Then you have to wake up and do something about it before it turns into a disaster.

Don’t join the statistics of people that got stabbed in the back by their friends simply because they are too trusting and foolish. Wake up and do things to secure your relationship, don’t become an architect of your own misfortune. Be wise.  


  
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Subomi Olaoye

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